Dealing With Doubts

Mar 29, 2012


Life is filled with difficult places. Tough decisions. Hard calls.

It is then that we often find ourselves tossed back and forth. Grappling with choices.

Overcome by unrelenting fear.

Years ago when I was in the midst of my second adoption I found myself going back and forth with decisions.  My initial choice to adopt a second child came after lots of prayer. But once the ball got rolling, that’s when the challenges grew.

What country? Where? How?

After a failed adoption in UkraineI found myself once more looking into adopting in Russia.

Yes, I said, when asked about a little girl.

Yes, my heart leaped from where I was to where she was.

But then I received more information about her. Health concerns.

Weighed 1 ½ pounds at birth? Why that would be difficult if she had been born her in the states?

What was I getting myself into?

Doubts screamed. Do you know what you are doing?

Foolishness. People shook their heads when they heard.

My heart was big. No doubt about that. But I already was stretched single parenting one child.

As I think back to that time of wrestling I realize how much I would have missed if I had decided quickly to either stop the adoption process or choose another child.

Instead I embraced those doubts for what they were. Doubts. Not reality.

With my heart turned towards God knowing that He would strengthen me to handle whatever problems she had, I walked forward. Knees knocking.

Today at 12, Jenny not only is in perfect health but she blesses us with her sweet ways.

I remember the words of an old preacher “Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light.” (V Raymond Edman)

So true.

Listen to those doubts.

Move forward in faith.


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