“Lord, please use me today. I give it to you.
And may Your Name be glorified.”
I meant that prayer with every fiber of my being.
Yes, I did.
Well, I thought I did.
God blesses victories and successes. Right?
But what if there was a mistake, or an accident
or a miscarriage or failed adoption
or a divorce
or a rejected manuscript
or a failed business? And on and on and on.
Every time before I’d sit to play a piano solo or an offertory
I would ask the Lord to bless it and use it for His Glory.
It was His. And I played well.
But there was that day that changed my thinking.
I had practiced for hours and knew every note.
Backwards and forwards
with my eyes closed.
Then that moment came when I stepped to the piano.
The congregation waited.
I was nervous – I was usually nervous.
“Lord, help me” I cried within. Make it good, I thought.
And so I played
and everything was going so well
until I hit the last cord.
Discord sounded as I realized I had hit one wrong note.
Just one but the sound echoed in my ears long after I hit it.
I stumbled to my seat
Shakened by my foolish mistake
Embarrassment and disappointment covered me.
“Lord, I prayed” I cried out.
Then from somewhere deep within I sensed
“Did you give it to Me?”
“Why yes, Lord. You know I did.”
“Then the outcome is Mine too.”
Like sunshine breaking through the storm
I began to see.
The outcome was His to do with as He chose.
Something that I had missed for years.
Yes, I had given it. But I assumed He would give me
a flawless performance for His Glory.
But here it was still His and He allowed me
to experience less than perfect.
A mess, in my mind, because one wrong note spoiled it all.
As I thought and pondered I began to see
that when I give it all to Him
I need to take my hands off.
I need to accept His Will, His Way
whatever that may be.
Once more my heart was humbled as I began to see
how I tended to take ownership for the outcomes
if they were undesirable and I’d beat myself up for days
rather than trusting Him with it all.
Freedom broke forth
and liberation to give and serve
without holding onto the end result.
So who is holding the outcome for you?
Let Him have it all. Embrace the peace He gives.
Trust Him to use it all for His Glory and your good.
He longs to do just that for both of us.
Join me, won’t you.
Sharon this was written for me. I have been having trouble, fear, of walking and obsessed that I measure up to the “average” recovery time from knee replacement surgery. I was lagging and scared to death of falling…not to mention I hadn’t walked with a cane for close to ten years. .. I asked why Lord, you told me you would heal me if I got the surgery? Well you got the nail on the head. Imperfect. I am. And in His Time. No matter how long.
Maybe as long as it takes for me to trust Him no matter what the circumstances. He didn’t promise an average recovery He promised to heal me. No matter how long it takes. No matter how long it takes to walk and no matter how long it takes to trust and have faith to face the fear of falling. He will take his time until He heals me from all of it. So when I doubted Him, even his own existence. He gave me Grace. He took most of the fear, not all of it, most. But I am using the cane with less fear for as long as it takes because I serve a God who is so much more than I could ever imagine and he will not leave me hopeless.
I am so thankful that God used these simple words to encourage you, dear friend. I appreciate your words ‘no matter how long…’ Yes, that is faith. To keep focused on Him, believing in Him and stepping forward. I’m praying for your continued healing and hope to hear from you again soon.