When You Can’t See Anything

Nov 4, 2015

It was an overcast November day as I remember it

that somehow matched my mood

so many years ago.

Nothing seemed to be happening

and that longing in my heart

to have my own sweetly smelling little baby

refused to be quieted.

It seemed that wherever I turned women were having children

or playing with children

or carrying children. Sigh.

And although I had surrendered that longing to the Lord Who knows all

many, many  times in the past

somehow on this day

it hurt more than ever.

“Lord, do you see?

Do you care?

Are you listening?”

Silence wrapped itself around my aching heart

and drew me into its loving arms.

“I see

I know

I care,” my dear child.

“Behind the scenes I work for those who love me.”

I smile as I reflect back on that time –

that stretch of long years when I waited

without seeing any indication of answer to my prayer.

Today, I mother two beautiful daughters and my life is full.

But the lesson is etched on my heart with love

and today I give thanks again.

For every ordinary day when nothing seemed to be happening

and every moment of learning to trust when I could not see anything.

Waiting can be so difficult.

Waiting and having no idea of the outcome.

Waiting that leads to greater trust because of a growing love for the Shepherd.

Waiting that tenderly whispers

Will you give me all of your hopes and dreams

and just trust me?

Waiting that draws us to surrender is a sacred journey.

Have you found it to be so?

Give Him all your hopes and dreams

All those broken pieces

and He will show you the Way

that is so much better than you could possibly have imagined.

Are you waiting for something today?

My heart understands so well your longings.

He will never fail you.


jenny's adoption


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